So this past week has been weird to say the least. A good weird. It all started when I got really sick and had to come home from camp.
I'll spare you the scrumptious details, but long story short, I noticed myself getting sick on a Wednesday, and by Friday I knew there was something really wrong with me. I hadn't slept in two nights or eaten in three days and couldn't even work without writhing on the floor in pain. I tried to write it off and told myself to stop being dramatic, but come Saturday morning, I basically had to roll myself into a car and get carted off back to Ruston for some serious healing power.
After getting home and detoxing myself to the fullest extent of the law, I began to see that the Lord was clearly using this to get my attention.
Not only was I physically sicker than I thought I was, I was spiritually sicker than I thought I was.
The problem was, I wasn't willing to admit it. I had the same mentality for my relationship with the Lord as with my sickness: just push through and it'll all resolve itself eventually.
Ha ha nope.
In case you didn't know, this is not the correct way to handle illness OR a relationship with God.
But God in His complete mercy and graciousness intentionally pulled me away from every distraction so He could woo me back to Himself through blessings upon blessings.
He also gave me some firm but gentle reminders:
1. There is sweet and simple joy to be found in being myself--the silly, creative, passionate girl He created me to be.
2. Memorizing Scripture is totally a thing and an absolute MUST. I'm cheating myself out of a powerful weapon when I choose to neglect it.
3. There is freedom in obedience. So much freedom. I'm a slave to righteousness, so why wouldn't I come alive when I'm obeying?
4. I cannot serve two masters. My work must be completely for Him and Him alone.
5. The battle of the flesh and spirit starts in the mind. The flesh leads to death; the Spirit leads to life and peace. (Romans 8)
6. He actually delights in me. He's not mad at me. I'm his daughter and I'm saved.
7. I love to write, so don't stop.
8. Most of all, He reminded me that He is faithful even when I am faithless.
It seems like I have done nothing but be faithless so far this summer. But in return, God chose to take me home, give me rest, give me healing, and bless me deeply again and again.
I don't deserve these blessings at all. I don't deserve this shower of faithfulness. I don't deserve to be lavished with love.
But I receive blessings because they have nothing to do with me and everything to do with the character of my God!
I'm so thankful that He used His power to reminded me of the Truth.