A post-summer ramble
Elizabeth Moore
So it’s the second night in my new apartment, but it already feels like home.
My room looks exactly like my old one: the same fluffy white duvet with the occasional coffee or avocado stain, the same watercolored Dumbledore and C.S. Lewis quotes on the wall, the same white curtains, the same gray bookshelf littered with books and candles and pens and picture frames—just the way I like it. So much is changing so I’m clinging to as much consistency as I can.
I love it here. In this apartment. In Texas. It feels like good to say that and mean it.
A few weeks ago, I had no idea where I was going to live or who I was going to live with, but the Lord abundantly provided. Why do my body and brain insist on anxiety when my heart knows He will prove Himself faithful again?
My new roommate is incredible. She just moved to town last week from Atlanta, and she starts teaching Kindergarten on Wednesday. I don’t know much of her story yet, but I can tell that she’s a woman who has walked through valleys and and emerged with a heart that magnifies the Lord. I’m excited to know her more.
Summer is officially over, and I'm so glad. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't great. Summer just kind of happened to me. I doggy-paddled my way through it, and now I’m craving the routine and consistency that, I hope, will come with the fall.
This summer has been a season of discipline that's not over yet. It wasn't particularly hard, but it wasn't full of rejoicing either. It was just a one-day-at-a-time endurance.
Pretty much any time that I wasn’t at work (or traveling), I was alone. Sometimes I was content with empty evenings of dinner and reading and going on walks by myself. But most times I felt restless and sad and longed for people to do life with, people to sit on the couch and do nothing with.
But the Lord has shown Himself to be a faithful companion. Temporary loneliness was His best for me, and I see that now. My soul needed to be bound in solitude with Him, because it pushed me toward relationship with Him when I would have run to other things. Loneliness isn't pleasant, but if it draws me closer to the Lord then it’s worth it, as much as I hate the way it feels.
And this is where I struggle: trusting Him when I don’t see Him working, when all does not F E E L well with my soul.
But I’m learning that even this—even my weakness and doubt—can bring glory to the Lord. My sin highlights His mercy. My weakness points to His strength.
And the long, slow endurance—this is called life for a believer. Not forever, but for now. We run the grueling, painful race that is set before us.
So this summer has been weird. I feel like nothing happened except that it happened. It went by so fast, which I'm actually thankful for.
I’m not sure what this summer accomplished yet. Maybe I’ll never know. Maybe it will always look like a weird, in-between season of waiting and growth and endurance. But that’s awesome. Because that’s what I’m called to: waiting in hope, being courageous, taking heart, running the race with endurance and discipline.
I take comfort in the truth that God’s discipline does not reveal His displeasure but His love.
And I’ve also closed the door on a season of grief, a part of my story that is hard and healed and in the past. Thank you Jesus for healing and for what you’re doing next.
All of last year, I clung to Jesus' words when He promised: “I am making all things new.”
And He did. And I saw Him do it. He made so much new.
Now, I’m clinging to this truth: “And I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them.”
So I don't know where I'm going or what He's doing, but I don't have to. I trust Him and He will lead me when I feel blind.
I’ve seen the Lord be abundantly faithful in many seasons, and I believe I’ve see Him do it again.
| random fun things to lighten the mood |
Current simple joys...
- Shopping for books in antique stores
- Spending every possible moment outside
- Listening to the Journeywomen podcast while doing my hair in the mornings
- Spending unlimited time in Galatians
Currently reading these words...
And listening to ...
And wining and dining on ...
- A big, yummy, breakfasty bite of avocado, kale, and fried eggs
- Abita Andygator (loving that game day weekend life in Baton Rouge)
- All the mango I can consume before fall
- Ground turkey sautéed in cinnamon?? Yes. It's true.