In the gap between His words and ours

Bookstores have my heart because they house books and words--words that are written and words that are spoken. They don't build walls of impenetrability but of movability, comprehension, and depth.

Books don't claim to be perfect; they're perfectly content to be who they are. If you don't prefer them, they don't mind one bit. They'll continue to dwell on their shelf doing exactly what they were created to do. They let you pass by, knowing that one day the right person will read them and need it. 

Standing in the midst of this motley congregation, I feel safe. I feel free to be as authentic as possible because most of these books are downright weirder than I am. They are free to be, and they remind me to enjoy that freedom. 

Maybe my frequent visits to bookstores is why I'm so vocal about my obsession with words these days. I've recently been captivated by how words form and who puts them there. Who decides the best word to use in the best place? Who decides what type of manipulation of language to use over another? Who decides that the words are beautiful enough to rest and begin to be? 

The author of course. The author chooses how to wield language in a way that achieves her designed purpose. 

And who takes this composition of words and engraves them onto paper so that it reaches the world? 

The typewriter. 

So both the author and the typewriter exist for the same ultimate purpose, to communicate words, but they have vastly different roles. The author has complete ownership over what is said and how it's said. The typewriter mechanically copies what the author commands it to say. The author creates and controls, while the typewriter obeys and produces. 

I've thought a lot about my role as a writer and as a Christian. What is my role as a human and flawed, learning and flailing writer that's been redeemed? Do I author my own words or simply scribe God's words for the world can see? 

Am I the typist or the typewriter? 

To choose one or the other would be a mistake and missing an integral part of my identity. I believe I am both. 

As the author: I was created to create, to discover words and meaning on my own. I have a free-will to choose what I will write and what I don't, making it impossible for me to only be an inanimate piece of machinery. 

As the typewriter: However, I am created. I have no being outside the One who created me and gives me life and breath. Though He has allowed me to freely choose my own way and my own beliefs, He holds me together. He sovereignly and simultaneously orchestrates, allows, and knows what happens and what will happen. 

I cannot be solely the author or the typewriter. I can't be one without the other. I have the ability to choose, and I have chosen to speak the words of Someone greater: the Creator that allows me to create. I pray that my creations resemble His, however dimly and rudimentary. 

So I am not a compulsory machine, pounding out the paragraphs of an oppressive wordsmith. I have chosen to be the typewriter of a gentle author, an author who allows me the freedom to create and to seek knowledge and insight beyond myself. 

In the words of my dear friend Katie: "In the gap between His words and our own, He has placed you."